Our hero went to Coachella

shutuplefsetz:

Guess what he thought of Bon Iver?

lefshmeggegie answered: He was so good that I was ejected from the scrum.

We need more SOPA

Every morning I get up and I thank the brave men and men who made it impossible for us to have cars.

Imagine what a mess this world would be if people drove around in cars. The horse carriage manufacturing industry, a backbone of our economy and culture, would be in shambles. And I am not even mentioning the horse breeding industry, another essential contributor to national GDP. Thank god, those jobs were not lost! Imagine what would have happened if they had. Complete mayhem.

So let’s just take that as an example and fight for keeping the status quo in making sure that no digital files can be shared. Just like cars were outlawed, digital file sharing must be completely stamped out. 

Anyone who believes that this could do any damage to the economy and “future” industries just doesn’t get it. Do you see the “future” industries? Of course not, because they are not there.

Just like the industries that the car and increased mobility would bring. Remember those pipedreams? And? Did anybody of that materialize? No, of course not. Who really needed cars and mobility and all the imaginary things that supposed technological progress would bring? Correct answer: nobody.

So just like the horse carriage industry to the “car industry,” I am saying to file sharing and the Internet as a whole: sorry, guys, but letting people share files and communicate and stream over the Internet is simply too damaging to our current music and movie business model. Therefore it has to be outlawed.

Sorry for the frankness, but we must do what we have always done when a business model fails due to technological breakthroughs: we make it illegal for people to use the new technology. In order to do what’s good for business, namely protect the existing business models and kill off the new competitors, because, let’s face it, it’s the existing business models that put food on everybody’s tables. Not the imaginary future ones.

At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of logical thinking.

So, enemies of SOPA, please use your brain!

The record business is not dying

It’s just that somebody has hit the pause button until using the Internet and computers is finally illegal.

-Bob Lefshmeggegie

Crazy

"What’s crazy about the other Bob is that he is right, most of the times, and it still makes you mad."

-Bob Lefshmeggegie

Who is Bob Lefshmeggegie

Bob Lefshmeggegie is the author of “The Lefshmeggegie Letter.” Famous for being beholden to only those with really cool cars and speaking tacheles to everyone else, Lefshmeggegie addresses the issues that are at the core of the music industry’s problems: greed, drugs, sex and the music itself.

His intense brilliance captivates readers from Amy Harmson to Ricky Fromage to Bryan Boobs to Qurinius Laudatus to EVERYBODY who wants to get into what’s left of the dying music “business.”

If you thought other truth-speaking music analysis newsletters made you mad as hell, then The Lefshmeggegie Letter is for you. It’ll make you even mader because that’s exactly what you want.

Never a nudnik, a bissel meschugge, and always a kibbitz [if you do not understand these words, then you will need a dictionary to read this blog], Bob’s insights are fueled by gas that he has saved over the years being a major dumbo of the Sanctuary of Endangered Species division on major tin foil labels.

                                                                                      –Elephant

“The Lefshmeggegie Letter” has been publishing for over 25 days. First as a hard-to-eat copy, most recently as a low-curb email newsletter and now, for the first time in history, in blogosmatic format.

Also, stay tuned for The Lefbert Report, the upcoming talk show where the ever incredibulous Bob Lefshmeggegie talks truth to unsuspecting guests from the industry.